#wade took the worst one who became his entire universe

[mischievous-thunder]

What if Patch and Old Man Logan had Wades of their own? What if that was the reason why none of them bothered even with small talks and immediately got rid of our Wade Prime as soon as they saw him because they knew that that one wasn't theirs?

The comic accurate Short King, however, was somewhat eager to go with Wade. He didn't seem to be weirded out. He even took a couple of steps towards Wade and didn't attack the man.

As for this Diva, he looked so done with Wade the moment he saw the man approaching. The way he pushed himself off the wall and stood in front of Wade, gave off the vibe of him facing a typically annoying regular customer of his who got on his nerves all the time.

The most flirtatious one had to be the Worst Wolverine. His body language, the way he smiled at Wade and tapped his forehead, the way he continuously had a gorgeous smirk plastered on his face, the way he ever so mildly threatened and then didn't attack and let Wade do whatever he wanted with him were what made Wade's knees go weak.

Their very first encounter had the soulmate spark. Both of them definitely felt it even if nobody mentioned anything explicitly. Nevertheless, their first meeting paved the way for the intense psychological and emotional growth they'd go through together and become each other's world in the end.

[silliewrites]

If I could save time in a bottle...

summary: [Platonic Logan Howlett x gn!reader/ famillial dynamics} After the passing of your parent figure some years ago, your friend Wade comes back from a deadly mission with a replica of him. You also soon learn that someone that is definitely not Wade has something to do with the mess that is currently the resting place of that loved one. Finally, you and the ‘worst’ Wolverine find you are on the road to healing together.

wc: 3.4k

warnings: angst and comfort, grief, strong language, brief mention of child death (in worst! Logan's universe), spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine as well as Logan (2017), the bye bye bye scene is treated as grave desecration (which i mean,it is… but reader is naturally gonna see nothing humorous about it)

a/n: This is a bit of a mess because I never write, yet I have so many feelings and thoughts I had to do something with them. Not having seen a platonic fic of this kind anywhere I guess I had to make one. Also..I did some basic research on the general deadpool canon yet..I’m not entirely informed, having not watched deadpool 2… let’s hope for the best

--------------

 You used to be the youngest student in the X mansion back in the day, just a child having mutated under life altering circumstances, the usual. 

 It was Logan who found you. He was your rock during and after the traumatizing event of your mutation, taking you in and placing you in the arms of the X-men and thanks to him they became your family.

 You saw him no less than as a father. Despite his brooding, harsh exterior it was never difficult for you to see that he cared.

 He never shot you down when you knocked on his door in the middle of the night, sobbing after another brutal nightmare. He took you seriously when you talked about your fears and worries. He saved you and helped you stand on your feet more times than you could count.

 Seeing death and bad things happen to your family of mutants always hurt viciously but when Logan died it felt like something you would never get over.

  With your abilities generally under control, you chose to avoid actively partaking in X men work (Not that you refused your assistance, if someone called for you specifically. It had better be very urgent though.)

 So you tried to find a rhythm of what resembled a normal life for the most part, a decent job and some good friends. That was what he would have wanted, no, said he wanted for you.

 You kept ties with Laura too, having bonded over your shared grief, the man having died in her arms after all. She was some years younger than you and you were happy to consider her a good friend, the younger sibling type.

 Some years ago she had disappeared, causing you yet another source of anxiety. Turns out she herself had been banished to the Void. The relief you felt when Wade came back from that limbo hell while managing to bring her back too, was immense. You have never hugged anyone tighter than Laura the day you saw her again.

 Speaking of Wade, through this and that, you had also become acquaintances. He had needed your assistance when he was forming his X force crew and you had hesitantly accepted, making it clear that this would be an one-time thing. 

 He seemed to be a "Wolverine fanboy" in his own words which caused him to bombard you with childish questions about him until you very firmly made him aware of your boundaries. There was a time and place to talk about Logan.

When that shitshow was over with, you did not mind him considering you your friend. Sure, he was a bit much for you, not a huge fan of his 'humor' but seeing him in moderation was not unpleasant…Alright, maybe you did enjoy his company and friendship, it was as simple as that.

  After a chat with him, you learned that the rent in his apartment building was relatively cheap for New York standards, so when it was time to move out of your previous place, that was where you went.

 Then the damn timeline thing happened. You were pretty confused as to how exactly the events played out, not being involved, thankfully. But the crazy fucker did it, he saved the universe from extinction apparently. And not exactly by himself.

 Logan was there. Not your Logan but apparently a variant of him was necessary to pull the mission off.

 And now that version of him was Wade's roommate. Great. Perfect. Definitely something easy for you to process in the days to come.

--------------

 You first saw them after the mission on your way to catch a cab to the airport. It was that time of the trimester when you were to visit him. Bleak yet you longed to see him and speak to him, even if he was resting under the earth. 

 Wade had the decency to explain everything to you once it was decided that Logan’s variant would be staying. He knew that you never really stopped grieving and you appreciated the warning that basically an almost exact replica of your dead father figure would now roam around your earth.

Almost exact, because according to Wade, this Logan was more of a dick, more crude and erratic, apparently rendered by his extra layers of grief and hatred. Partially understandable but you would not accept that as an excuse if he said something cruel in front of you, you would probably introduce him to your interesting mutative abilities. You let Wade know so that he could warn mr stick-up-his-ass. Wade more than happy to accept, still assured you that with the life or death mission being over, Logan was attempting to be more approachable.

 The feelings this new reality brewed in you were..mixed, to say the least.

 You made eye contact with Wade from across the street and of course he shot up from the bench he was sitting on, dropping his half eaten sandwich to the ground, moving his arms vigorously in the air, catching not only your attention but any other passerby's. 

 Even though your stomach turned at having to face the him, you wanted to check up on Wade after all this madness he went through. And on his friend as well, you supposed.

 You looked both ways before passing the street and before you knew it, Wade’s arms wrapped around your neck. You patted his back with one hand, unable to help the choking sounds that left you. 

 “It’s so good to see you, my little honey pumpkin bear!” He squealed excitedly while squeezing the dear life out of you. He really thought he’d never see his friends again, huh.

“Oof, yeah Wade, it’s really nice to see you too, please just-” You broke free of his hold and held an arm’s distance between the two of you. You patted his arm and gave him a small but genuine smile. “Really glad you’re ok. Not that I expected anything le-”

 Your words slowly died out when your gaze met Logan’s. He was sitting on the bench observing the interaction silently. He looked just like you remembered him, minus some differences. Well, obviously he was supposed to be the same person yet..he was not.

 He looked up at you, brows furrowed while his eyes scanned through your face before flashing with what seemed like recognition (Not that you knew what it was he was seeing) He seemed tense and his mouth gaped before he turned his attention to the ground. 

 Wade naturally noticed the uncomfortable tension between the two of you and he decided to chime in quickly.

“Ah, yes this is the Wolverine I had to kidnap to help me with the time ripper bullshit and oh boy, did he deliver!” 

 You kept your eyes on the Variant, forcing yourself into a polite smile (that resembled more of an awkward line) and you extended your hand to him, causing him to lift his gaze at you again.

“Nice to meet you...Logan. Thank you for your help with unscrewing our timeline” You said as pleasantly as you could and he took your hand after a moment of hesitation, shaking it with a gentle firm and a silent nod. 

His presence..It made your stomach turn. Feeling the threat of your vision getting watery, you quickly averted your gaze away from the two, as subtle as you could manage. 

“I..Wade, m’ sorry, would love to sit a bit more but I have to go-”

“Hey wait, tomorrow we’ll be having a get-together to celebrate the un-fuckery of the universe, a partEy if you will! Everyone will be there, Al will be making that terrible casserole you really like also!”

You gave him a melancholic smile, genuinely sad you would not be able to attend. Logan’s variant was back to looking at the ground.

“Ah, I’m sorry, I won’t make it, I’m afraid. I’m going to the airport right now actually, will be off for the next three days. Gotta see someone..”

“Ooooh” Wade whistled while wiggling his brows “and is that someone maybe a super hot sexy mysterious boyfriend? Or girlfriend? Or theyfriend? Or-” 

“Heh, nope. Nothing like that unfortunately.”

“Sure, sure, keep your secrets, you ankle biter, but promise to pass by the apartment once you’re back, we gotta catch up!”

You nodded. “Of course. See you then.” 

 Two days later you found yourself back in New York in a rush, in front of Wade’s apartment door, ready to invent a way that would actually exterminate him.

--------------

 Nothing prepared you for the mess you saw in what was supposed to be Logan’s resting place. 

 The snow had ceased completely. With a simple look his grave was undug and the makeshift X was missing. When you approached, the little fresh snow that had fallen last night was covering various types of debris. Some type of fight had taken place and someone had collected the bodies in a rush yet they did not bother with what you spotted after closer inspection and some digging with your hands. 

 Metallic looking appendages…These were…

You looked inside the open grave. The snow had barely covered the remains in there and it was obvious they were not even half of what they were supposed to be.

 You suppressed the violent urge to vomit. Someone had taken him out, violated his remains and as if in a haste, threw them back in.

 You dug through the snow with bare hands around the grave. A fragment here. A fragment there. The spine. What was left of the cranium. White hot rage.

You called Laura with shaking hands. Offended would be an understatement for how she sounded, as well, unaware of who could have possibly caused this. Why were you even calling her, poor girl was in the void for a while now, what could she possibly do or know?

You hung up with the intention of looking through the situation a bit more and catching her up later.

  While trying to stay calm and focusing all your mental energy on collecting, wiping and gently placing the remains back in the hole, it clicked.

 Wade. 

 From the few words you two had exchanged ever since he was back, you gathered he turned every stone to find “a Wolverine” to assist him. Yet you could not imagine what the everloving fuck would he defile your Wolverine’s grave for and what caused him to spread his bones all over like fucking confetti.

  You would not stand for this. Just because Wade saved the stupid timeline, he did not automatically become immune to the most extraordinary ass whooping of the century. If he had something to do with this, you would not forgive him easily, if at all

--------------

 After taking a deep breath, you rang the bell. Tapping your foot on the ground, you heard some mumbling and shuffling before the door opened.

 Wade made a surprised expression that resembled a caricature.

“Sweet baby cakes! You're back already? Come on in, I was just thinking about starting a gossip girl marathon. Again!”

 Wade's cheerful expression fell almost immediately when you stayed still for a moment too long, not responding.

 Althea did not seem to be home. Good.

 Wade's expression morphed into one of concern.

“Pumpkin, is everything-”

“Wade. Guess where I just came back from.”

You took a slow step forward, dropping you backpack to the floor.

“Erm..a male stripclub full of hot babes?”

“North Dakota.”

“Don't you say! Did North Dakota had any good male strip-” He stopped himself before realization hit him. “And..may I ask..what was it you were doing in North-”

“You know very well what.”

Wade put his hands in front of him defensively and closed the door. “Hey Pumpkin, why don't you just sit so that we can-”

“Shut. Up.” You whispered.

“When I got to his grave, someone had completely messed it up. Signs of fighting around. Do you happen to have anything to do with that?” You said in a dangerously low voice, eyes glued on him.

 Wade, whose mouth formed into an awkward line, clearly not having a reasonably enough excuse to give you.

“Er, you see, um remember when I was looking for a Logan, well I started my search with the OG, you know, just to make sure he was dead dead and unfortunately he was and um then you see err the TVA showed up and um-”

He stopped when you put your hands on your face, squeezing it while a muffled screech of rage escaped you. 

“You motherfucking, with no semblance of decency, insensitive prick. You defiled Logan's remains and used them as a shield, throwing them around like toys? And you have the nerve to come back home and look me in the eye after the fact? To look Laura in the eye? Do you not have any fucking shame? Am I simply an afterthought to you?”

Silence. You could not see through the tears. With shaky hands you pulled out of your pocket a tiny clothed item and you carefully unwrapped the cover to reveal a small metallic fragment.

“You may think everything's a fucking game but that man was my family, and worst part is you know this very damn well! How dare you!”

“You have every right to be angry, just let me-”

 You grabbed the first object you could reach, which was a half empty bottle of liquor and threw it across the room, causing it to smash angrily on the wall of the living room. Wade winced slightly before groaning in frustration.

With that, a bedroom shot open and an alarmed Logan variant made an appearance, claws already out.

“What the fuck is hap-”

 He stopped in his tracks seeing it was just you. He probably had already heard your yelling earlier yet it did not answer any questions about what was going on.

“What the hell, kid?” he said with a subtle hint of alarm.

 You take a step towards him, looking up at his face, paying no mind to his blades that were now retreating back inside. God, how it hurt to stare right into his features. Feeling a wave of nausea, you picked up your bag and turned your back to the two men.

 “Wait, can't we just talk about this?” Wade said

 “No, you ruined my week enough” You mumbled bitterly before exiting his apartment. Week, more like, year.

--------------

 The roof of the building was pretty nice, you always preferred it when you wanted some time to yourself outside the walls of your apartment. You rarely ever saw any other tenant there, especially in the late afternoons.

 This is where you found yourself that night, elbows supported on the railing, observing the busy street from above while sipping on bad beer.

 How you wished he was there right now. How you wished for one more simple moment with him, where you could just be in his presence once again, chat about nonsense or simply sit in comfortable silence next to him. 

 What would he think of you as the person you were trying to become? Would he be proud of you? 

 How you wished he would put his hand on your shoulder comfortingly right now.   

 You missed him. So much.

A high pitched creak came from the direction of the heavy door behind you, causing you to jump a little and instinctively wipe the fresh tears that you just then realized were running down your face.

 “Sorry, kid, did I scare you? They mustn't have oiled this door in fucking ever..” There was Logan, the new one. Whatever entity was reading your thoughts a moment prior must be finding your misery hilarious.

 “Hope I’m not bothering you”

 “No, no. I don’t own the rooftop..” You mumbled softly, turning your attention back on the street, trying to ignore the feeling of clear tension he brought with him. You swore to God, if he was about to make a crass comment..

 He came to stand next to you, mimicking the position of your elbows on the railing. He himself was holding a glass, filled with one most likely alcoholic liquid.

 “That asshole told me everything about the grave thing. If I were you, I would have torn him apart.”

 “I’m sure you already know this isn’t possible by any means”

 Logan huffed. “Oh, believe me, I do. I’ve tried at least three times”

 You gave a noncommittal nod, trying not to focus too much the gruff voice you always found so comforting.

 “...You know..You existed in my timeline too” He mumbled before gulping a generous sip of his drink.

 That made you look up at him, surprised. “I…did?”

“Oh, yes you did. Lively little brat you were.” He said with a laugh you could only describe as melancholic. He said it like it hurt.

“You went through so much for a child. And you did cry quite often ‘cause of it, yet you were still so..” He seized, taking a heavy breath and emptying his glass. “So full of life. A good kid.” The city lights reflecting on his eyes, making it easier for you to see how watery they were.

“I..assume I…”

You were interrupted by another one of those devastating low laughs that made your heart ache.

“Yeah. You were among them. Those fuckers did not even spare a fucking child. I was the one who got you with the X-men and it ended in..” He hissed through his teeth and half closed mouth. He took a moment to collect himself and breathed out.

“I’m so sorry, Logan.” You whispered genuinely. You didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t be, …sorry, didn't mean to make it about myself.”

“You didn’t, really!” 

 A moment of awkward silence before you decided to share your piece.

“My Logan, er, you..I suppose it’s more or less the same as it was in your world but..you were like a…You were the closest I ever felt to a parent. I grew up because of you and..yeah, when I was around 17, you died.” It was almost funny how much you oversimplified those statements but it was the best you could manage at the given moment.

 He nodded, listening intently.

“I’m sure that..If he saw how you grew into who you are today, doing your own thing, in spite of the mutation shit and all…he wouldn’t change a thing about how all these fucking events went down..”

“You..think so?”

He chuckled, giving you a small smile, tired but genuine.

“Hell, I know so.” he said. You could tell. You could tell that he desperately wished this was how the events played out in his own world, with the other you alive and a bright future ahead of them.

 You hesitated for a moment, not sure if what you were about to say would be too much for him. Then again, it was him who approached you with this vulnerable conversation. 

“For what it's worth I would… they would want you to keep on living. Not forget them, not at all. Just..be. Be a person. Make friends and..live.”

 He looked you in the eye for a second, before averting your gaze and looking anywhere but you. This was hard for him. But he was trying.

 He patted your back firmly. “Thanks, kid.” It was a very simple thing you told him yet you could not possibly know what it meant to him. 

You thought that maybe you got what you wished for. Not exactly and certainly not ideally. But you and this Logan had something in common. Maybe, you could help and comfort each other in a way nobody else possibly could. 

 “Y’ know..I'm glad you got to stay, Logan.”

 A smile. “I'm glad to be here, kiddo.”

A pause. 

“How long do you think I should make Wade do my laundry for? Y'know. For retribution?”

“Oh, six months at least, bub..” 

You stayed for a couple hours chatting above the restless city, topics including but not limited to work, university and acquaintances.

Your pain was soothed a tiny bit and you hoped Logan's was too. You had a lot of time ahead of you to work on that further, after all.

[maybe-im-dark]

Feral father

Based on this post

The TVA agent looked entirely too smug for Logan’s liking as she handed him the manila folder, her eyes glinting with amusement. Logan glared at her, already regretting agreeing to this meeting. He didn’t trust the TVA as far as he could throw them, but apparently, they were doing him a "favor."

“This is some kind of joke, right?” Logan grunted, flipping through the documents.

His stomach churned as the contents became clear. Birth certificates, old photographs, addresses.

“No joke, Mr. Howlett,” the agent said smoothly, leaning back in her chair. “These are your children. Or at least, the ones we’ve managed to track down. It seems your...uh… extensive history has had some unforeseen consequences.”

Logan slammed the folder shut, his claws itching to make an appearance. “I didn’t know,” he said through gritted teeth.

The agent shrugged. “We figured as much. But now you do. And you should know that some of them could use your help—particularly the younger ones. You might not be able to change the past, but you can at least try to be part of their futures.”

Logan left the TVA office that day with the folder tucked under his arm and a heavy weight on his chest.

---

Back at the apartment, Wade was sprawled out on the couch, shoveling popcorn into his mask-covered face while Al was berating him for leaving the milk out. Logan walked in, his usual brooding demeanor darker than usual.

“Peanut, you look like someone just told you there’s no beer left in Canada. What’s up?” Wade asked, sitting up and tossing the popcorn aside.

Logan threw the folder onto the coffee table. “Apparently, I’ve got kids.”

Wade froze, then leaned forward, grabbing the folder with both hands. He flipped through it, his eyes widening. “Holy shit, Logan. You’re like a mutant Johnny Appleseed! Spreading little Wolverines everywhere.”

“Shut up, Wade,” Logan growled, running a hand down his face. “I didn’t know.”

Al snorted from the kitchen. “Of course, you didn’t. But every damn bar has a condom machine in the bathroom. You couldn’t spare a quarter?”

“I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly,” Logan snapped.

Wade cackled, leaning back and kicking his feet up onto the table. “Oh, this is rich. Logan Howlett, the universe’s worst Wolverine and deadbeat dad! But hey, at least you’re taking responsibility now. Right, big guy?”

Logan shot him a glare but didn’t argue. “Some of them are mutants,” he said, his voice softening. “The TVA says they can transfer the younger ones to this universe. I can send them to the mansion, make sure they’re looked after.”

“And the older ones?” Wade asked, his tone unusually serious.

Logan shrugged. “I’ll meet with them. Talk to ‘em. But I’m not... I’m not gonna drop this bomb on their lives. They’ve been fine without me. I’ll just... I’ll just listen.”

Wade studied him for a moment before nodding. “Alright, Wolvie. Sounds like a plan. But just so you know, I’m totally buying a ‘World’s Okayest Dad’ mug for you.”

Logan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m too old for this shit.”

---

The first meeting was awkward. A young girl, no older than seven, was brought to the mansion. Her name was Emma, and she had Logan’s piercing hazel eyes but her mother’s delicate features. She was scared, clutching a stuffed rabbit as she stared up at him.

“I’m your dad,” Logan said gruffly, feeling like an idiot.

Emma blinked at him, her lower lip trembling. “You’re... you’re scary.”

Logan’s heart twisted. “Yeah, I get that a lot,” he muttered, crouching down to her level. “But I’m not gonna hurt you, kid. Promise.”

It took time, but slowly, Emma warmed up to him. The other children came too—some shy, some excited, some skeptical. Logan wrote checks, sent cards, and made awkward small talk with the mansion staff to make sure the kids were happy.

---

The older ones were harder. He met them in bars, sitting quietly as they shared their life stories. A middle-aged man named Daniel, who worked as a mechanic. A young woman named Claire, who was a chef in Montreal. Logan listened, biting his tongue as they unknowingly revealed parts of themselves that mirrored him.

He never told them who he was. He didn’t feel he had the right. But when Claire mentioned her strange healing abilities, Logan couldn’t stop the small, bittersweet smile that tugged at his lips.

---

Back at home, Wade teased him endlessly, but there was an undercurrent of pride in his voice. “You’re like Santa Claus, Logan! Except instead of presents, you’re handing out emotional trauma and mutant genes!”

Logan rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the small smile that crept onto his face.

Al muttered from her chair, “At least the idiot’s trying. God help those kids if they end up with Wade’s influence too.”

Logan leaned back in his chair, the folder still heavy in his lap. It wasn’t perfect. Hell, it wasn’t even close. But it was a start.

[coeurdastronaute]

The Story, Ch. 2

Previously on The Story

June was hot, thick with stagnant heat that refused to rustle or move the tiniest branch of a tree nor leaf on a stem. Hotter than any other summer that she could remember, Jamie toiled daily on her garden and the grounds, lugging water to and fro, nurturing the seedlings in the greenhouse, fretting over the last bits of her bountiful spring bloom and hoping to survive until the first cooling summer storm. It was tough work, all-encompassing work, and she’d learned a little late in her life, how important it was to keep busy. 

Never one to understand or listen to the story beneath the sound, Jamie missed the subtle changes that had undertaken the manor. Too preoccupied and exhausted from her battle with the sun and the dirt and the grounds itself, she hadn’t given another thought to how often her glances looked back toward the house, nor did she think twice about how she migrated around her duties, following the laughter of the children closer than ever before. Unaware of so much of her movements, her head stuck in the dirt and her hands tangled in the safety of the roots, Jamie was somewhat aware of the fact that she had not spoken, at least not directly or alone, with the au pair since their very first conversation. That was done with such purpose that she spent a large portion of the day willing it to both happen and un-happen. 

But things changed in their sullen existence. Homemade decorations littered the stairs and railings while entire science experiments meant trousers rolled up to ankles and wading in the fountain. The curriculum changed with the feeling of the day, and when school was over, the children were happy to take to learning the finer points of housework, turned into games by the crafty au pair who understood how important such things were. Slowly, the gravity fo the grounds shifted from the chaotic mess left behind with such glaring absences. 

Like all features at Bly, Jamie knew that the au pair was a novelty and would soon become not unlike the furniture or the statues. She would become innate to the property, just as Owen and Hannah and herself had, she would be usual and familiar and it would pass, Jamie promised herself, unpracticed in physics as she was.  

But the addition of the au pair had changed the manor, and in part, had changed many of those left within its universe. Where before there was cold and silence in the absence of the parents of the orphaned children, now nights brimmed with laughter and games, where plays were acted out by the entire cast, and learning was hands on, often out of the classroom and with the help of the rest of the staff. There was this community that popped up, a kinship among those who remained, all loosely tied together by the newest addition. 

It was all so sorely needed after the last au pair and the exceeding tragedy that plagued the beautiful land. 

It was hard not to want to be part of the liveliness of the manor now. Jamie found herself peaking over hedges to find the au pair reading books as the children drifted and lazed in the grass, and she too, listened to the words and gentle voice, her trimming slowing as a result. And clearly the children were taken with Dani, with Flora becoming much like a shadow, following her about, weaving her dolls and flowers for her hair. Miles became less despondent, though not enough for the au pair’s opinion. Still prone to their bouts of melancholy, it felt as if they returned to being children again sometimes. 

Unlike before, Jamie didn’t leave without stopping into the house to see if she might get accidently pulled into an adventure. Before, she would leave without much more than a honk or a wave. But the heat made her shoes stick to the grounds that much more despite the growing exhaustion. 

There was something about staying that made Jamie uneasy. It wasn’t in her composition to remain and attach. 

“It has to break soon,” Jamie sighed to herself as she pressed a sweating glass against her neck. The chill lasted a moment and that was all, gone in an instant. 

“I’ve got ever window open in the house and there hasn’t been so much as a breeze in a week,” Hannah shook her head and continued the slow, gentle fanning of herself. 

The ice adjusted, breaking apart and clinking in a glass. 

“There’s not much more I can do to save the lawn on the south side. It’s getting burnt. It’ll take ages for it to bounce back if we that rain doesn’t hurry.” 

“But the produce has been otherworldly,” Owen offered happily. “What you’ve been harvesting has blown my mind. I haven’t seen such bounty. At least I could never manage it.” 

“I don’t know if it’s saying much then if that’s the comparison.” 

“Laugh at my expense, but it’s true. I’ll gladly trade the lawn for those carrots.” 

“What about you, Hannah, eh? An afternoon of rain or larger heads of cauliflower?” 

“I get more than enough veg, thank you. Owen, you’re looney if you think a breeze isn’t worth every pea in her garden.” 

“I never claimed to be any different,” he grinned before taking a sip of his drink. 

The patio hummed with the crickets and heat so that even their words were too much hot air, and perhaps unwelcomed in the perfect summer evening. It was late, well after sundown, and yet the employees earned a certain run of the place as their own home after dark, when the semblance of adults could be disbanded. 

The two prattled back and forth, much to Jamie’s amusement. The absurdity of how blind they both were, or perhaps Hannah’s staunch refusal for no reason at all didn’t much make sense to the gardener. It wouldn’t be right for someone like Hannah to refuse happiness-- someone who deserved it so completely. Jamie couldn’t understand that choice. 

“There she is, welcome, welcome,” Owen greeted the au pair as she made her way onto the patio. 

The light from inside glowed against her, and Jamie could see the sweat on her neck and the wet ends of her hair that escaped an incredibly high and incredibly tight pony tail. She smiled into her drink at just the thought of it. 

“Still having trouble getting to sleep are they?” Hannah asked as Dani took a seat at the small table of friends. “The heat isn’t kind to them.” 

“Thank you,” she nodded and took a heavy gulp before she winced at the alcohol content she hadn’t been expecting. “They are just so uncomfortable. I don’t even know what to do.” 

“Put them outside,” Jamie offered before three faced turned towards hers. “What? You’ve never slept outside before?” 

Two of the three shook their heads, while Owen perked up excitedly.

“We’ll sort them out tomorrow, don’t worry, Poppins.” 

“I’m willing to try anything at this point. You should have seen Miles’ face when I told him to just sleep in his underwear.”

There was laughter among the group, and across the table, Jamie watched the au pair more curiously than she ever had before. In the faint glow of the evening, she shamelessly stared, observing the interactions, slunk back in her chair and disinterested with much else. 

There’s always been a distance to them that the few feet that separated them now seemed too little, and such an easy stretch to cross. The gardener had seen the au pair in the yard with the children, running and climbing and playing in the sun, her blonde hair whipping around in a swirl as she moved quickly. The gardener had seen the au pair on the terrace, reading in the shade in those damned shorts and her pale skin practically glowing. They shared meals together, but always at polar ends, directly missing each other.

But never had the gardener so unabashedly stared at the newest addition to the trio, or rather the finishing piece of their quartet. She chalked it up to curiosity, because never before had she been so close to an American with a smile like that, or rather, never before had she been close to a smile like that or an American. 

Even when Dani met her glance, Jamie didn’t look away, but rather wondered more about the stranger before her. 

“I thought I was escaping the heat,” Dani shook her head as the company drew toward the end of their drinks. “This is worse than I could have imagined.” 

“It’ll break soon,” Jamie repeated with a bit more assurance. 

“You can’t listen to Jamie’s superstitions,” Hannah shook her head. “She thinks her flowers whisper to her.” 

“That sounds a bit mental. I’d never say that. But it is going to break. You can feel it.” 

“I never would have thought to accuse you of reckless hope,” Owen teased. 

“And you never should,” Jamie said as she stood, finishing her drink. “But the trees are dry and the creeks are hard. It’ll break because it always does.” 

“Got a timeline on that?” Dani asked, looking up at the body in the dark. 

“Sadly, I don’t,” she sighed. “But I believe in the rain.” 

As Hannah and Owen debated the weather and belief, the gardener smiled at Dani and nodded her good night. 

“I’ll see you lot tomorrow. I reckon it might be time for a camp out.” 

Dani smiled, cradling the glass to her neck and cheek. Jamie didn’t look away. The worst of it was, she hadn’t seemed to decide on anything at all. Her mouth just moved and now she was stuck. 

XXXXXXXXXX

“It doesn’t seem safe,” Miles complained as he helped lug an armful of bedding. 

“It’s perfectly safe. It’s not like you have to worry about anyone walking around the property,” Dani promised. “It’s just like being at a campground or in the middle of the woods, except much closer to the bathroom.” 

“We’ve never been properly camping before,” Flora announced. “We did sleep in the living room a few times, and tell stories, and drank cocoa.” 

“Well camping is supposed to be fun.” 

“Supposed to be?” 

“I’ve never gone either,” she shrugged, wiping the sweat from her brow. “But I’ll do anything to avoid the heat.” 

“It’s the same temperature outside as inside,” the little boy reminded the group as he tossed his pillow down on one of the carefully placed bedrolls, foraged from the deepest recesses of the garage attic. 

“It’ll chill come evening,” the au pair promised. “I never thought you’d be afraid of a little adventure.” 

“I don’t mind adventure, but I mind the mosquitos.” 

“We’ll take care of that, don’t worry.”

“It’s absolutely splendid, isn’t it, Ms. Clayton?” Flora brimmed as she spun around the camp on the back lawn.

With a surprising show inf ingenuity, it was true that the gardener with help from the chef, had transformed a spot beneath the hornbeam trees into a safari. The fire was already crackling to life as the children finished their last load of blankets, the beds were pallets and the chairs were from the patio, but the true gift was the open-faced tent, hung between a few branches of the wide tree so that the open wall faced the fire and the house. 

“It’s better than I could have imagined,” Dani agreed, smiling as she surveyed the set up until she found the person responsible and softened. “It looks amazing.” 

When Jamie made the suggestion, the au pair hadn’t really considered it happening, but when she showed up the following day ready to do it, enlisting Owen and even Hannah in some ways, Dani didn’t think twice about joining the event. 

“Just a bit of ingenuity and fierce, god-like strength,” Jamie winked, flexing a bit before grinning. “And Owen.” 

“It’s nothing,” the chef promised as he checked the sturdiness of his work. “I was a Scout Explorer. Fifteen years worth of survival and outdoor training with a healthy dose of community service.”

“And what was your reason for being so outdoorsy?” Dani turned to Jamie as she teased Miles’ shoulder, making him look. 

“Oh, I was raised by wolves,” Jamie explained, quite seriously, earning a look from the smallest of the party. “True story. Walked on all fours until I was older than you, Flora. Used to be able to talk to them, but it’s been so long.” 

“That didn’t happen,” Miles shook his head. 

“If you ever run into a pack of wolves, just say you know me.” 

He rolled his eyes but thought it over to himself as Dani accepted a drink from Hannah and took a seat, the hard work of setting up complete and the night working its way to them. 

It might have been psychological, or it might have been the fire, but the evening did seem to get cooler. It wasn’t a blustery winter by any means, but it felt tenable for the first time in too many days. 

For Dani, the best kind of moments were when the children were just that, giggly and smiling, living loudly and with exteriority. When Miles would flash a smile, absolutely smitten with everything Owen was telling him about knots and pocket knives and his own adventures in the woods as a boy. When Flora would lean against the side of the au pair’s leg and pat her knee excitedly as she had to get close to speak so quickly about how important it was to not burn the marshmallows. She could love them better, she believed. It didn’t seem an impossible task sometimes. 

For a second, she also lost herself in the magic of the evening. As Flora and Miles chased lightning bugs through the field, exhausting themselves after dinner, and Dani found herself in the company of who were quickly becoming what she might refer to as friends. The three caretakers of the manor and its inhabitants, slightly more willing to stay later for a moment like this as well. 

Three s’mores and four stories later, the late hour did it’s best to win out over the young campers. Huddled around the fire, they covered up and listened attentively as the gardener wove a wild story. Dani sat across, her legs stretched out and feet near the fire while Hannah held a bottle tightly beside her before carefully re-filling their cups. 

“I almost hate to admit what a good idea this is,” Hannah chuckled before re-corking their bottle as she sat it on the ground. “But they certainly are enjoying themselves.”

“It means a lot to them, for you all to be here and so interested. They don’t know it yet, but they will one day,” Dani nodded, looking over the flickering flames as Miles adjusted, pulling up the blanket, completely engrossed in the story. 

“I couldn’t be anywhere else. I’ve been with this family for… goodness, it’s been my whole life it seems.” 

“Still, you chose to stay. That means something.” 

“I’m not sure what, exactly,” the housekeeper sighed. 

“Love. Loyalty.” 

Dani watched a small smile creep into Hannah’s cheeks as she stared at the gardener, but didn’t hear a thing, so deep in thought was the housekeeper suddenly that she disappeared, or so it seemed. 

Jamie kept talking though, her story winding its way this way and that, hoping to be long enough to tire out the children. Her voice was growing lower to persuade them, and in just a few minutes, Flora fell asleep, her cheek pressed against the gardener’s chest, a blanket wrapped over them both. Dani wasn’t sure when she began to smile at the scene, only that she was and Hannah watched her take a drink to hide it. 

“The night we found out about the Wingraves, she spent the entire evening playing with them. When I got the call, I didn’t know how to say it, so we waited for their uncle to come tell them, and I remember Jamie watching them run up and down the stairs, playing some made up game that we couldn’t understand. And she was the one who made us wait. Let them be kids who have parents for just another hour, she told me. Another hour.”

Miles stretched slightly, his arm dipping until his head was on the pillow. 

“I’m sorry for the loss,” Dani offered as Hannah looked away from a sleeping Flora. 

“They’re adapting. Somehow.” 

“You all are helping, you know that, don’t you?” 

“Sometimes I’m not sure, but then I look at that,” Hannah nudged her chin at the sleeping children, at Jamie not bothering to move Flora, but holding her tight. “And I know that even in the most inopportune environment, even something kind and loyal and loving can emerge, whether they know it or not.” 

“What happened?” 

“She ended up here somehow,” she sighed and took another drink before standing. “Let me help you, dear. Don’t want to wake her after finally getting her to sleep.” 

Dani didn’t move as she watched the careful task of detaching Flora and tucking her in safely, all in hopes of not having to tell another story to put her back to sleep. The au pair watched Jamie’s movements with a keener eye. She traced the outline of her jaw and cheeks, saw neck and clavicle when the flannel she’d brought slipped down a shoulder with the movements, as if something, some tick, could explain everything that seemed to be an impenetrable fort. 

“And with that, I’ve had enough nature,” Hannah decided. “I’m going inside to my bed.”

“Booooo,” the other adults teased. 

“I’m too old for sleeping in the dirt, and so are you lot. We’ll see who is in better shape in the morning.” 

“I’ll, uh,” Owen stood, patting off his pants. “I’ll walk  you in. Grab some more water for us.” 

“I know the way.” 

“Good, you can help me find the kitchen.” 

With a wave, they moved back toward the house, their lanterns swinging as they reached the door. Across from her, Jamie took to a chair, electing to stretch after sitting on the hard ground and beneath another human, tiny as she was, for so long. 

“I swear my arse went flat sitting there all night,” she mumbled, picking up the bottle Hannah had left behind. “Gardener by day, lawn chair by night.”

“I don’t think I’m as good with flowers as you are with them.” 

“No worries about me pilfering your job, Poppins. I find them exhausting and they are quite taken with you.” 

There was a fondness hidden beneath the feigned annoyance as Jamie surveyed their sleeping forms, resting comfortably with the fire flickering light into the tent. 

“They like you.” 

“What’s not to like? I’m quite a stirring specimen. And I make a damn fine s’more.” 

Dani couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she stood and meandered toward a chair, the stiffness that Hannah warned about nestling into her joints until she was certain she’d be locked in the seated position forever. 

“You’re not going to abandon me out here with them are you?” 

To her credit, Jamie considered it before tossing a lopsided smile toward the au pair who joined her. 

“It was my idea to sleep outside, wasn’t it? Can’t miss this. Plus,” she paused to finish her glass of whiskey. “I’ve been drinking. Not too safe to drive.” 

“I feel like I should thank you again for all of this. It’s… it’s amazing.” 

The stars were bright, unburdened with any rules of order, scattered throughout to the horizon and tree tops. The fire glowed but did not dim them at all, merely enhanced by attempting to add its own embers into the heavens, offering the sacrifice for permanent consideration, though none made it that far. 

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t doing anything else. I’ve had worse nights than a campfire and half-decent company.” 

“I’ll take half-decent.” 

“Oh, yeah… uh, I was talking about them,” Jame furrowed as she looked toward the sleeping children. “Juries still out on you.” 

“I’ve been known to be a good time,” Dani promised. 

Despite the teasing, Jame tilted her chin to appraise the au pair in the firelight, as if trying to discern if the statement was actually true. She cocked her head to the side as Dani readjusted, becoming oddly self-conscious of the look. A little nervous, she sipped her drink and winced against the burn. 

“I might be inclined to believe you, except you ended up here, same as us, and I’m not sure anyone here knows how to be a good time.” 

“I don’t know. You put all of this together.”

“A rare flash of brilliance,” Jamie shrugged. “We’ve been dying to know what brought you here, you know?”

“I’m that interesting?” 

“New, maybe. Interesting is to be determined.” 

Dani smiled into her cup, her body constricting tightly into itself as she was forced to think about things she’d hoped to forget. 

“But you don’t have to share,” Jamie added quickly, feeling the shift in the mood of the night. It was far too lovely out and the au pair was far too pretty sitting there, politely looking for a way out. “Doesn’t matter how, just that you got here. In my experience, it’s a bit of ill-fate that brings anyone here. Hannah and the cheating husband. Owen and the sick mother.”

“You, and the love of plants?” 

“Yeah,” she grunted. “Me and my curse for growing things.”

Jame ran her thumb along her cup before turning back to the au pair beside her. She wasn’t fond, suddenly, of upsetting her, and she didn’t want the conversation to end because unlike most others, she was incredibly invested in simply hearing Dani’s voice.  

“And me,” Dani decided, stiffening her spine a little with a deep breath, “Running away from everything back home because I just…” she looked at Jamie, willing her to understand how cowardly and weak she felt. “Couldn’t handle the pain anymore.” 

Her glance was strong, was inquisitive and kind, and Dani looked away from the warmth it offered. 

“You don’t have to run anymore. And you don’t have to have anymore pain.” 

It was an oddly comforting option and perhaps promise, Dani realized, one that she knew Jamie was in no place to give, but still she did, and for the first time, despite all of the people at the funeral and the hospital and in her life who let her off the hook, or at least thought they did, she felt as if she might be able to finally do it. 

Jamie’s hand was warm in her knee where it gave a squeeze, but did not let go, resting there as the gardener moved her head, twisting to be in the au pair’s view. Dani looked at her and couldn’t help but smile slightly. 

“I know you’re not alright. That’s okay, too. You don’t have to be yet.” 

Simultaneously, the weight grew and shrunk on her chest, but Dani relaxed at the feeling of it all. 

“I’m around, you know? Not really the best at talking, but I’ve got ears that occasionally work.” Dani couldn’t help but chuckle. “There it is, Poppins. No sense in having a pretty girl upset. It’s probably the greatest sin around.” 

“The greatest?” she scoffed, clearing her throat as the hand on her knee was retracted. 

“I haven’t been to church in a while,” Jamie confessed. 

“I couldn’t tell.”

“That’s what happens when you’re raised by wolves.” 

Once again, she filled up the cups, and Dani felt the gardener relax slightly beside her. She found herself envious of the apparent ease with which she moved through life. 

“I almost believe you.” 

There was another grin, lopsided and knowing. It was oddly frustrating, to feel so bare and understood by someone who was unreadable, but Dani challenged her before taking a drink. 

“Wolves don’t have to howl in the night and live in the forests or have fangs and claws.” Jamie paused and swirled around her drink. She looked up to see the lantern of their third returning. “Sometimes they wear suits and work at the bank or a department store, and they find a weakling and they do what wolves do. Suit or fangs, there isn’t much difference. I was raised by wolves.”

Dani didn’t register Owen’s return. She looked at Jamie who refused to look at her, but rather smiled as the chef sat down, prepared to tease him incredibly for his display with the housekeeper. But the au pair was struck with the first thickly veiled, but honest moment she might have ever had with the stranger beside her. She wanted more. She wanted to press and learn what it all meant, not the story, not the tale of it, the fiction and flowers and metaphors. But she found it was enough for the moment. 

“I found out why Poppins is at the Manor,” Jamie announced proudly as she tossed Owen the bottle. “She robbed a bunch of banks.” 

“I think she might be pulling your leg,” he shook his head. “Doesn’t seem the type to care about money.” 

“She did it for the thrill. She’s mad. Hide the silver.” 

“Don’t tell people that,” Dani scolded, hitting Jamie’s arm. “I’m just a teacher.” 

“A notoriously underpaid lot. She definitely did it for the money. Owed huge gambling debts. I don’t know what to tell you, Owen,” Jamie shrugged. “That’s the truth.” 

“Please don’t believe her.” 

“I hardly ever do,” he promised. 

NEXT

[bigskydreaming]

All right, you have officially sold me on Bobby Drake. Where do I start reading?

Its a good question, lol! Honestly, it mostly just depends on how far back you want to go. I mean, he’s been around for sixty years, lol, so there’s a shit ton of appearances to wade through, and it depends on how familiar you are with the X-Men as a whole. 

If you’re not familiar with the X-Men or Marvel in general, this is actually a really good time to jump in with reading the current books without much prior knowledge. Just last year the X-books underwent a huge status quo shakeup in the two limited series House of X and Powers of X, that pretty much like....transformed their entire place in the Marvel Universe as a whole and gave them a whole new playing field that was all pretty clearly laid out within just those two series. So its a really good starting point to kinda catch up quick to where things stand now and then just branch out from there to whatever catches your interest. 

Bobby’s a main character in a book called Marauders currently, which is only on issue #6 or #7 right now, and the book is pretty central to the major happenings in the X-Men’s corner of the universe. Plus a lot of great characters in the rest of the cast - Storm, Bishop, Emma Frost, etc.

If you want to start from way far back and have a good long, consistent read, the original X-Factor (the first series, vol 1) is where I would go. I don’t think anyone really needs to read the original X-Men series from the 60s to get a handle on the characters or universe, and personally I’ve always found X-Factor a much better read using all the same characters except with the added bonus of no Xavier. As he is. The Worst. 

Between the original X-Men run and X-Factor’s debut, Bobby, Angel and Beast popped up on various other superteams, like Bobby and Angel were on the Champions together for a bit, and then the three of them were on a team called the Defenders for a while...if you can find old Defenders issues online (this would have been back in the 70s/early 80s), they’re worth checking out just for Bobby’s brief romance with a shapeshifting character named Cloud who he first met as a woman but later shifted into a man. And while they decided to just be friends at that point, given that this was the era of the Comics Code when gay relationships were ‘frowned upon,’ this was the earliest and most blatant gay-coding of Bobby, literal decades before he was made canon gay in the comics. Plus, they’re just pretty fun stories and Bobby and Cloud were super cute together.

But yeah, then X-Factor ran for a number of years without interruption, staying consistent with the same core cast of just the original five X-Men and the supporting characters they introduced in that series, like Rictor (another future famous gay X-character, just a wee punk teenager at the time, lol). It was pretty fun overall, IMO, should give anyone new to the Marvel U a pretty solid grasp of all the major players in it, and its where a lot of big names like Apocalypse made their debut. And of course, I think Bobby was well written throughout it. X-Factor was also where a couple of the things I mentioned in that post happened, like the storyline where Loki kidnapped Bobby to use his powers to make his army.

After that.....basically, the original X-Men left that title to rejoin the X-Men when Marvel relaunched the X-Men line with a brand new X-Men #1 in the early 90s....and at the same time, they kept the already existing Uncanny X-Men title going, which was around #280 at that time. 

Since they had such a huge cast of characters at that point, they split the X-Men into two fairly iconic lineups, the Blue and the Gold....the Blue team were the chronicled in the adjectiveless X-Men book, and featured Cyclops, Gambit, Psylocke, Beast, Wolverine, Rogue and others, while the Gold team were the main characters of the continuing Uncanny X-Men title from again, around #280 and onward. The Gold team was Bobby, Jean Grey, Colossus, Storm, Archangel, and then later Bishop as well, etc. 

This era was where a lot of the best Bobby stories took place, IMO. Very early after the Gold team was formed, Bobby had a mishap with Mikhail Rasputin, the older brother of Colossus, whose powers shifted Bobby into his organic ice form for the very first time, where he became living ice that he could control and shapeshift and heal, rather than just cover himself with ice. This was the beginning of them exploring the versatility of Bobby’s powers and what eventually led to them making him an omega level mutant, though even back in X-Factor they’d established that he was far more powerful than anyone had realized before that.

Then Uncanny X-Men #311 continued this and launched one of the most pivotal periods in Bobby’s development. An accident led to a comatose Emma Frost’s mind jumping into Bobby’s body and taking control, and she used his body and powers to seek revenge for the deaths of her own students, and in the process pushed his powers even further than anyone had thought possible. This is where he came to realize he could literally teleport by melting into any body of water and recreating himself anywhere else connected to that body of water, like traveling from one end of a river to another, or even across oceans instantly....as well as proving to him that he could literally get holes blown in his ice form and just fill them up with new ice and transform back into his flesh and blood self, none the worse for wear. 

This period also led to him showing up in Generation X a lot, where Emma became one of the teachers for that generation of young mutants, because during this time, Bobby and Emma like....clashed a lot, because Bobby had a lot of issues about her hijacking his body and then taking it on what was essentially a suicide run at the time, and was also resentful of her being instantly able to do things with his powers he hadn’t even conceived of with years of training with them, and Emma was....prickly at the best of times, back then even moreso than now, so she tended to taunt him with this and push his buttons by insinuating she knew more about him than he did himself, and she knew what really was holding him back all these years, etc, etc....but then they eventually formed a very unconventional but real rapport, and decades later, they still have this weird thing where they’d probably never admit to even liking each other, but they probably respect each other more than just about any other of their teammates combined. (Also, the Christian that Bobby is currently with in the comics is Emma’s older brother).

Back to Uncanny X-Men....to take his mind off of everything that the body-jacking by Emma had brought up for him, and because Rogue was having a lot of similar issues due to her new relationship with Gambit and the glimpse of various secrets of his that she’d gotten via her own powers....Bobby and Rogue decided to take a road trip together, that went on for about a dozen issues all in all, and are some of my all time favorite Bobby stories. This includes Uncanny #319, where they go visit Bobby’s parents together and Bobby tells off his dad in epic fashion (this was literally the first comic I ever read, and still one of my faves today, lol....also he made a giant ice palace off the coastline that was as big as a city and that has nothing to do with anything except for the fact that it was very pretty and very gay. Foreshadowing!)

Then there were a couple of big iconic crossover events that took over all the titles for awhile - the first was the alternate universe Age of Apocalypse event - and its worth tracking down and reading in its entirety, IMO. Definitely one of the most pivotal ‘events’ in Marvel history, but it was actually pretty good, too? LOL. And the Age of Apocalypse version of Bobby was pretty bad ass. (He returned in Rick Remender’s X-Force title about fifteen years later, but we don’t speak of Rick Remender or that return, for both are bad and wrong).

Then reality was restored, and the Onslaught crossover happened, and like.....really the only thing you need to know about that is its basically where the entire Marvel Universe teamed up to fight the evil brain baby slash hatechild of Professor X and Magneto. I’m just saying. Read it at your own peril. I’m not even saying its BAD, I’m just saying. Read it at your own peril.

Then in Uncanny X-Men #340.....that’s the issue where Bobby left the team for awhile to take care of his dad after he was almost killed at that hate rally I mentioned in one of my Bobby posts today, so I forget where the whole ‘going undercover in Graydon Creed’s campaign’ storyline started, but back up a bit from there and you’d be good to go. He and Sam (Cannonball) went undercover together and that was basically the start of the epic Bobby and Sam bromance slash subtextual romance that I still love to this day, too.

Then he was out of the books for awhile, off taking care of his dad, and didn’t really return until this big event called Operation: Zero Tolerance happened, wherein the government went after the X-Men directly and captured pretty much all their big guns, and Bobby came back to help and had to single-handedly rescue a bunch of random mutants from Sentinels and make an interim team with which to like, save the day themselves. O:ZT is actually a really good story for him, I really like how competent he was portrayed there, and also it was the introduction of Dr. CeCe Reyes, who is also a fave. She was also briefly a sorta/not sorta love interest for Bobby, that of course didn’t ultimately go anywhere. On account of, y’know. His Massive Gayness.

Then Bobby left the team again to go return to taking care of his dad, and also because certain writers hated him (though tbh, Bobby’s actually one of the longest running heroes in the Marvel U, as in....he’s spent the longest consecutive times active in various books/teams without taking breaks, compared to pretty much all other characters who aren’t Wolverine, Captain America or Spider-man. He was a constant presence in books pretty much from his creation up until the mid-90s, so like, he was due for some time-off. I GUESS. WHATEVER).

From this point, he didn’t return until a storyline called The Twelve. It was very bad, and very dumb, and you should not read it. Your brain cells will thank me later.

Then there was a miniseries called X-Men Forever - this you SHOULD read, as its where the term omega mutant was essentially coined for the first time in the way its been used ever since, and its where both Bobby and Jean found out they were omega level mutants for the first time. And Mystique and Toad and Juggernaut were also there because....idk, tbh. That was all very strange to me. But! Still! Worth a read!

Then came a veeeeery underrated Iceman solo miniseries of four issues, that is weird but also very worth tracking down as it was a great Bobby, very poignant and also kinda sad, but like. I’d highly recommend. Especially as it was pretty much the last good Bobby for awhile, with the exception of Joe Casey, who wrote a decent Bobby but a terrible Everyone Else.

Then we enter the Dark Ages of Bobby. Where everything is bad and all the writers are the worst.

First up is Chuck Austen. Bobby was a core member of his X-Men lineup, throughout his run. This is not a good reason to read Chuck Austen’s run. Do not read Chuck Austen’s run. You’re welcome.

Then there was Peter Milligan’s run. Peter Milligan’s run was not as bad as Austen’s run. This is not a good reason to read Peter Milligan’s run. Do not read Peter Milligan’s run. You’re welcome.

Then Mike Carey took over. You CAN read Mike Carey’s run. You probably even SHOULD read Mike Carey’s run. He is not perfect, but he liked Bobby and we like him for liking Bobby. His Bobby actually spoke in complete sentences and displayed more than one emotion per issue. And Supernovas is a pretty good arc and was actually where the Children of the Vault were first introduced, and they were just brought back in the most recent X-Men issue to be a recurring antagonist, so they’re like. Relevant and stuff.

And then there’s Messiah Complex, which is basically the Advent of Oh Hai, Everything’s About To Get Just Fucking AWFUL For Mutants From Here For the Next Ten Years Or So, and there’s like....blechness with Bobby and Mystique, which...I mean....all else aside, she’s Rogue’s MOM, but WHATEVER. Look, there were....plot reasons. Kinda. So. Whatever. Just blink rapidly and move on from that as quickly as you can.

You can pretty safely jump ship at that point, because Divided We Stand is No, Second Coming is Ugh, and Schism is Why. And also there’s Age of X in there somewhere, which is to be avoided because Age of X basically just wanted to be Age of Apocalypse and its not Age of Apocalypse. Just like Age of X-Man is similarly not Age of Apocalypse, and even Age of Apocalypse 2.0 is not Age of Apocalypse. Stop trying to be Age of Apocalypse, everybody. NONE OF YOU ARE AGE OF APOCALYPSE.

You may have one (1) year of Marjorie M. Liu writing Astonishing X-Men, as a treat. She wrote a great Bobby, this was where the whole ‘freezing the whole Earth, whoopsie’ thing happened, and it was a great and very underrated story.

Then post Schism there’s stuff like Wolverine and the X-Men, where Bobby’s a main character after being lured to take Logan’s side in the Schism instead of Scott’s, with the promise of Being Relevant. ‘Twas a lie. Bobby ‘twas there, but hardly relevant. And Jason Aaron is not as good a writer as advertised, since he’s mostly the one doing the advertising and like.....dude should not trust his own hype. There’s weird and whimsical, and then there’s just plain WEIRD, and most of Wolverine and the X-Men is the latter, claiming to be the former, and like. You can’t trust anyone these days.

Then comes the Era of Bendis. Die, Era of Bendis, Die. 

Do not read the Era of Bendis. Do not speak of the Era of Bendis. If the Era of Bendis bursts into flames on the street next to you, look pointedly away, and trip anyone who runs up to try and douse the Era of Bendis with a bucket of water.

Just trust me. The Bendis, and then the Hopeless (that’s the name of the actual writer who took over on All New X-Men, but it pretty well sums up the feelings of Bobby fans on the matter too, ‘twas fate), and then the Bendis again....bad, bad, bad and also Superbad, but not the movie.

You will hear promises, siren songs, of a young, teenage time-displaced Bobby Drake having his first boyfriend, an Inhuman named Romeo. THIS IS A LIE. ITS A TRICK! A TRAP! DO NOT FALL FOR IT! 

Basically everything is blah blah blahful for awhile....until the Bobby solo series by Sina Grace, which gets a bad rap, but I maintain its worth the read. Like, I’m not going to call it my favorite take on him or anything like that, but its still good fun and a vastly more competent and compelling Bobby than anything Bendis ever eked out.

And that basically catches us up to the present, where we’re at with Marauders.

So!

There you go! Umm....this was supposed to be just a brief list of arc titles to check out, but then I went and hyper-fixated like a BUFFOON, so....umm. Yeah! Have at it!

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

I love Tolkien too!! Who’s your favorite character?

Anon, how dare you make me choose my favorite character when there are so many beautiful characters to pick from? 

In all honestly, I find that I can’t answer that question. I hope you're okay with reading a much, much longer response than you probably imagined originally. I’ll go over my top characters and why they’re so high on my personal list, because many of the reasons are different from character to character. These aren’t in any particular order.

This also isn’t even all of my top favorites, but the answer became so long that I had to limit it to a few. Basically, I wrote whole character analyses gushing about why I love the characters I mentioned - Sauron, Melkor, Manwë, and Varda. Enjoy :’)

Sauron

I loved reading about just because of how evil he is; it makes him very entertaining (and horrifying, more often than not) to read anything he’s involved in. He’s the worst. Literally the worst. I love how cunning and deceptive he is because I’ve always had a penchant for conniving characters. 

“Now the Elves made many rings; but secretly Sauron made One Ring to rule all the others, and their power was bound up with it, to be subject wholly to it and to last only so long as it too should last. And much of the strength and will of Sauron passed into that One Ring; for the power of the Elven-rings was very great, and that which should govern them must be a thing of surpassing potency; and Sauron forged it in the Mountain of Fire in the Land of Shadow. And while he wore the One Ring he could perceive all the things that were done by means of the lesser rings, and he could see and govern the very thoughts of those that wore them.”

But I also find Sauron interesting because it looks like he began as an anti-hero, a Byronic hero, even someone who had good intentions but coupled them with extreme measures and moral greyness. And instead of being your stereotypical angsty brooder who eventually finds “the light”, is redeemed, and finds happiness, Sauron plunged deeper and deeper into malice, ill intentions, and a desire to dominate.

“In my story Sauron represents as near an approach to the wholly evil will as is possible. He had gone the way of all tyrants: beginning well, at least on the level that while desiring to order all things according to his own wisdom he still at first considered the (economic) well-being of other inhabitants of the Earth. But he went further than human tyrants in pride and the lust for domination, being in origin an immortal (angelic) spirit. Sauron desired to be a God-King, and was held to be this by his servants, by a triple treachery: 1. Because of his admiration of Strength he had become a follower of Morgoth and fell with him down into the depths of evil, becoming his chief agent in Middle-earth. 2. when Morgoth was defeated by the Valar finally he forsook his allegiance; but out of fear only; he did not present himself to the Valar or sue for pardon, and remained in Middle-earth. 3. When he found how greatly his knowledge was admired by all other rational creatures and how easy it was to influence them, his pride became boundless.”

Tolkien himself says that Sauron “began well”, and because of his admiration for Morgoth’s immense power, was corrupted alongside him as well. It was also the fault of his arrogance; when he discovered that other beings admired and were amazed by him due to his status as a (former) angelic being, the praise basically got to his head. While I love redemption stories, it’s refreshing to read about a character who had his chance and let it go. And Sauron’s evil is absolutely unquestionable. It’s not up for debate; he is malevolent, selfish, and duplicitous, and through his desire for order, perfection, and control, actually seems to represent what Tolkien considers a very absolute form of evil.

“The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men.”

And what I find so gripping about Sauron is that he doesn’t carry out his cruelty with professionalism and a sense of necessity; he absolutely relishes it.

“Then straightaway they brought him into the dreadful presence of Sauron; and Sauron said: ‘I hear now that thou wouldst barter with me. What is thy price?’

And Gorlim answered that he should find Eilinel again, and with her be set free; for he thought Eilinel also had been made captive. Then Sauron smiled, saying: ‘That is a small price for so great a treachery. So shall it surely be. Say on!’

Now Gorlim would have drawn back, but daunted by the eyes of Sauron he told at last all that he would know. Then Sauron laughed; and he mocked Gorlim, and revealed to him that he had only seen a phantom devised by wizardry to entrap him; for Eilinel was dead. ‘Nonetheless I will grant thy prayer,’ said Sauron; 'and thou shalt go to Eilinel, and be set free of my service.’ Then he put him cruelly to death.”

Melkor

My initial reason for liking Melkor seems very similar to my reasons for liking Sauron: He’s a stellar villain, and, like Sauron, a complete and utter monster. And he’s intense. He’s terrifying; Tolkien’s descriptions of him are great, and just reading it on a page is captivating.

“… And he descended upon Arda in power and majesty greater than any other of the Valar, as a mountain that wades in the sea and has its head above the clouds and is clad in ice and crowned with smoke and fire; and the light of the eyes of Melkor was like a flame that withers with heat and pierces with a deadly cold.”

Yet he’s also quite different from his lieutenant, in my opinion. Melkor seems to be much more motivated by personal envy than Sauron is: 

‘As a shadow Melkor did not then conceive himself. For in his beginning he loves and desired light, and the form that he took was exceedingly bright; and he said in his heart: 'On such brightness as I am the Children shall hardly endure to look; therefore to know of aught else or beyond or even to strain their small minds to conceive of it would not be for their good.’ But a lesser brightness that stands before the greater becomes darkness. And Melkor was jealous, therefore, of all other brightness, and wished to take all light unto himself.’

He has a very interesting desire for light (tying into the envious aspect of his nature) that does nothing to redeem him in the slightest.

“He began with the desire of Light, but when he could not possess it for himself alone, he descended through fire and wrath into a great burning, down into Darkness. And darkness he used most in his evil works upon Arda, and filled it with fear for all living things.”

‘With Manwë dwells Varda, Lady of the Stars, who knows all the regions of Eä. Too great is her beauty to be declared in the words of Men or of Elves; for the light of Ilúvatar lives still in her face. In light is her power and her joy. Out of the deeps of Eä she came to the aid of Manwë; for Melkor she knew from before the making of the Music and rejected him, and he hated her, and feared her more than all others whom Eru made.’ 

A very interesting quote that has sparked a lot of discussion. Whatever this “rejection” means (I have my own thoughts in this, but I’m trying to keep this objective for this post), Melkor sought spirits of light to recruit to his side, and it seems that Varda embodies light, purity, holiness, etc. Her titles reflect this, as does this statement about the light of Ilúvatar. 

Now this embodiment of light, this spirit of brilliance, rejected to join Melkor’s side, and Melkor ‘hated her’. It’s quite obvious that Melkor is, for lack of a better word, salty, that Varda, whose face shines with Eru’s light, “rejected” him. He cannot have Eru’s light (the Flame Imperishable), and Varda is perhaps the closest he can get to this. But she declines to ally herself to him, and he despises her for it. He’s not just peeved at losing a powerful ally, he loathes her on a personal level because she represents light that he can never have, no matter how much he desires it. (Take that as you will.)

Melkor is compelling, to me, because of how contradictory he seems. He’s absolutely monstrous and evil, no doubt about that, and his malice, like Sauron’s, is unquestionable. But he’s also a very convoluted character; clearly, much of his evil is borne out of personal insecurities. If you think about it, his duality makes perfect sense and is not contradictory. I like that: a character that’s undoubtedly evil embodied, yet is still layered in a natural, human way, and not one-dimensional. 

Manwë

Manwë is a character I adore for entirely different reasons than the first two above. As a person, he’s probably one of the characters I adore most out of any fictional universe. I love how he’s described as majestic and kingly - and he is!

But Manwë Súlimo, highest and holiest of the Valar, sat upon the borders of the West, forsaking not in his thought the Outer Lands. For his throne was set in majesty upon the pinnacle of Taniquetil, which was the highest of the mountains of the world, standing upon the margin of the Seas. Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; and their eyes could see to the depths of the sea and could pierce the hidden caverns under the world, and their wings could bear them through the three regions of the firmament beyond the lights of heaven to the edge of Darkness. Thus they brought word to him of well nigh all that passed in Aman: yet some things were hidden even from the eyes of Manwë and the servants of Manwë, for where Melkor sat in his dark thought impenetrable shadows lay. [...] Elves and Men revere Manwë most of all the Valar, for he has no thought for his own honour, and is not jealous of his power, but ruleth all to peace. The Vanyar he loved most of all the Elves, and of him they received song and poesy. For poesy is the delight of Manwë, and the song of words is his music. Behold, the raiment of Manwë is blue, and blue is the fire of his eyes, and his sceptre is of sapphire which the Noldor wrought for him; and he is King of the world of gods and elves and men, the vicegerent of Ilúvatar, and the chief defence against the evil of Melkor.

I apologize for the sudden subjectivity, but in my eyes, you will never read a more badass description of a character. Period. 

Anyway . . . despite his magnificence and power, Manwë is very well-intentioned, very noble, not at all corrupted by his authority, although he is quite literally the ruler of the entire world (Arda). 

Elves and Men revere Manwë most of all the Valar, for he has no thought for his own honour, and is not jealous of his power, but ruleth all to peace. 

As explicitly stated by Tolkien, Manwë is good. And personally, I think he’s one of the strongest characters in Tolkien’s universe. In power, yes - I mean, I believe he’s stated to be the second most powerful of the Ainur, right after Melkor. But in strength of character, Manwë far surpasses his brother and a good amount of the other characters. He shows it several times; for one thing, not being corrupted by the amount of power that he has is impressive in itself, but I also think this is noteworthy. It’s a decision he is often criticized for, but as Tolkien himself insinuated, Manwë choosing to release Melkor and offer him a second chance was a good thing.

“Who then can say with assurance that if Melkor had been held in bond less evil would have followed? Even in his diminishment the power of Melkor is beyond our calculation. Yet some ruinous outburst of his despair is not the worst that might have befallen. The release was according to the promise of Manwë. If Manwë had broken this promise for his own purposes, even though still intending ‘good’, he would have taken a step upon the paths of Melkor. That is a perilous step. In that hour and act he would have ceased to be the vice-regent of the One, becoming but a king who takes advantage over a rival whom he has conquered by force. Would we then have the sorrows that indeed befell; or would we have the Elder King lose his honour, and so pass, maybe, to a world rent between two proud lords striving for the throne?

Of this we may be sure, we children of small strength: any one of the Valar might have taken the paths of Melkor and become like him: one was enough.”

Rather than doing what Melkor would have done - going back on his words out of fear and refusing to extend a helping hand to a defeated enemy - Manwë chose to do what he believed was right, what was according to his morals. He didn’t waver or back away in the face of peril and stayed true to who he was. And to me, that’s the ultimate act showing strength of character.

Varda

Ah, the OG queen I stan. I always loved Varda, truthfully, but @marta-elentari ‘s metas made me love her even more. 

Varda is that character that makes me scream “Yes queen” from the very start. I love the feeling of power and brilliance I get when I read descriptions of her:

‘With Manwë dwelt Varda the most beautiful, whom we Noldor name Elbereth, Queen of the Valar; she it was who wrought the Great Stars; and with them were a great host of fair spirits in great blessedness.’

‘With Manwë dwells Varda, Lady of the Stars, who knows all the regions of Eä. Too great is her beauty to be declared in the words of Men or of Elves; for the light of Ilúvatar lives still in her face. In light is her power and her joy. Out of the deeps of Eä she came to the aid of Manwë; for Melkor she knew from before the making of the Music and rejected him, and he hated her, and feared her more than all others whom Eru made.’

My first impression of her was that she was a very intelligent woman and a very keen judge of character, considering she was the first to sense the darkness in Melkor. I also admired her for rejecting him, because Melkor coerced multiple powerful Maiar to his side, even those with good intentions (*cough* Sauron *cough*), and I don’t imagine his powers of persuasion were any less potent or any less on display when he attempted to cajole Varda to join him. Yet she declined. 

But then, courtesy of @marta-elentari , I found these quotes:

‘And Manwë and Ulmo and Aulë were as Kings; but Varda was the Queen of the Valar, and the spouse of Manwë, and her beauty was high and terrible and of great reverence.’

I find this “high and terrible” description to be very interesting. Insofar I had only known Varda is this Virgin Mary-type figure, but I think that quote added some less ‘holy’ aspects to her personality. And I loved that. We see the word ‘beauty’ juxtaposed with ‘terrible’ in LOTR, when Galadriel is tempted by the Ring:

“Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!”

This quote is an external manifestation of Galadriel’s buried desire for more power, a change from the wise and kind Lady of Lothlórien that Galadriel was initially characterized as. Of course, learning more of Galadriel’s history and her younger days’ desire to come to Middle Earth and rule her own kingdom - another form of power - it makes sense and is not at all odd. 

But the similarity in word choice makes me wonder if Varda was ambitious and desired power and a position of rulership, just as Galadriel did. Because I’m a sucker for ambitious female characters, I latch on to this theory, and it makes me love Varda very much: a Holy Mary figure who is mighty and pure, but also more complex than the surface level seems to indicate, and a woman who isn’t punished for her ambition. 

[comic-movieheroesranked]

Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2010) Part II

We’ve reached a decade of lists! To be honest the year 2010 was one of the weakest years when it came to decent comic movies but there were still some good ones! We get two sequels with Iron Man 2 and Predators and the debut of Kick-Ass, The Losers, Jonah Hex, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, and one of the worst movies in cinema, The Last Airbender. Without any more delay here’s #50-26!

*SPOILER ALERT FOR ALL HIGHLIGHTED MOVIES ABOVE*

50. Firelord Ozai (The Last Airbender)

"My son has failed me."

Firelord Ozai was shown a lot more in the film than he was in the show during Book One. To me, this was a mistake. In the show, Firelord Ozai had this Big Brother creepy aura that kept fear in everyone who talked about him and made the viewers know that he was the most dangerous person in their world. In the movie we see him calmly strolling next to some flowers and while he does look powerful, he kinda looks beatable and not much of a threat.

49. Noland (Predators)

"I'm the one that got away. The one you don't fuck with."

At first I thought Noland was someone that group needed. He's survived the planet for several seasons and has even managed to kill a couple of Predators himself. Only problem? He's crazy. He tries to take out the group which forces Royce to signal one of the Predators to find them. Noland tries to take off but is quickly blown to pieces by the Predators he's been avoiding for years.

48. Sokka (The Last Airbender)

"I always end up getting wet."

I hated Sokka. He wasn't funny at all and in the show, some of the best comedy comes from Sokka. It seriously bothered me every time he showed up on the screen because I knew it would be nothing like the Sokka from the film, in the worst way possible. We also didn't get to see him begin his journey of becoming the great leader he becomes by the time Book Three rolls around and his relationship with Princess Yue fell completely flat.

47. Natalie 'Envy' Adams (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst."

Envy was Scott's big ex that dumped him when her band got signed and moved away. Now a big star, she returns so her current boyfriend can destroy Scott once and for all. She mainly just eggs Todd on but once he's destroyed she moves on with her band. I will say that I really liked the song her band performed at their concert. It was catchy.

46. Happy Hogan (Iron Man 2)

"I got him!"

Happy is back with a little more screen time in the second film. Still serving Tony Stark, Happy shows he's just as loyal as Pepper is when it comes to helping Tony when he's in need of it. However, it seems he prefers Pepper more as he decides to work for her once she briefly cuts ties with Tony. We also see him bravely take down one of the bad guys...while Black Widow takes care of the other twelve men.

45. Nick Fury (Iron Man 2)

"Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe."

When Tony Stark hits rock bottom, Nick Fury shows up to smack some sense into him. He reveals Black Widow is an agent of his, Tony's father is a co-founder for S.H.E.I.L.D., and lets Tony know what elemental metal he can use as source of energy that won't kill him. He does all this in a matter of one scene then takes off to probably go recruit more Avengers.

44. Max (The Losers)

"I've done a lot in four months, Wade. I'm a very busy man."

The big baddie of the film, but he barely made an impression of me. At first I thought he was going to be this evil, calculating guy that killed 25 kids and felt nothing but he turned out to be just really rich and could pay people to do what he wanted. He, himself, wasn't that imposing so it was a surprise to no one that once his goons and his money were gone he was reduced to someone that gets mugged on the bus.

43. Justin Hammer (Iron Man 2)

"I'd love to leave my door unlocked at night, but this ain't Canada."

This dude reminded me of a horrible used car salesman that just wouldn't shut up. Seriously this guy is the very definition of a cockroach. He first tries to take down Tony with the government but when that fails he tries to be buddy-buddy with him so he can get a slot in Tony's expo. When Stark doesn't fall for it, he then starts funding the guy who tried to kill Stark to basically copy him so Hammer could get all the glory. I'm glad no one took him seriously but something tells me he really means to get back at Pepper for having him arrested.

42. Katara (The Last Airbender)

"I'm the only water bender left in the Southern Water Tribe."

Besides her whiteness, Katara didn't bother me THAT MUCH. She seemed to have this worried look on her face the whole time and her narration just didn't have the same impact as the on in the show. With all the cuts to make the movie shorter, it seemed Katara got the short end of the stick most of the time. Aang takes her spot when it comes to inspiring the earthbenders that are imprisoned and her mastery of waterbending is completely taken out as well. Even her epic fight against Zuko is shortened in favor of a fight between Aang and him.

41. Kim Pine, Stephen Stills, Neil Nordegraf (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"We are here to sell out and make money and stuff."

The members of the Sex Bob-Ombs! We got Stephen, the vocals and someone who just wants the band to reach the next level in their career so bad that it's made him paranoid; Kim, who used to date Scott in high school and now seems to hate him and insult him every chance she gets when she's not hating every other female drummer she sees; and Young Neil, who's basically the Great Value version of Scott and is only in the band when Scott can't play. They travel with Scott as he deals with all of Ramona's exes with the hope of getting signed but when that opportunity comes with Gideon, Ramona's top ex, they decide friendship is better and help cheer on Scott to victory!

40. Katie Deauxma (Kick-Ass)

"I'd fuck his brains out if I got the chance."

Katie first had Dave on her radar when she thought he was gay and being outcast by the entire school. Wanting to be there for him, she offered her friendship and the two became super close through the movie. When Dave reveals he's Kick-Ass and that he isn't actually gay, they start a relationship. It's Katie's disapproval in the vigilante life that gets Dave to quit being Kick-Ass for a brief moment and they continue to date after Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl beat Frank and Red Mist.

39. Gideon Gordon Graves (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"Game. Over."

Gideon is Ramona's most recent ex, who started the League of Exes when she dumped him. He has all the money in the world and uses it against Scott every way he can. He was honestly my least favorite ex. He wasn't as fun as the others and only dated Ramona because he had a mind control device on her. He's destroyed with the combined effort of Scott and Knives, allowing Ramona to date whoever she wants.

38. Tracker Predator and Falconer Predator (Predators)

*clicking sounds*

These two Predators were part of the trio hunting our group of humans. As a group they were able to take down a couple of them and on their own they were pretty impressive as well. Tracker Predator managed to kill Noland, who's been avoiding the Predators for years and mortally wounds Nikolai before the other blows the both up. Falconer Predator tried to do things the honorable way and take on Hanzo one on one in a sword fight. He dealt a finishing blow, but Hanzo also managed to bring him down as well.

37. Burke (Jonah Hex)

"I'm gonna hand Turnbull your balls in a snuffbox!"

For every villain wanting to destroy a country there's always a psycho sidekick who just wants to go along for the ride because it's fun. Turnbull's psychotic sidekick was Burke, who didn't understand what was going on half of the time but still killed anyone that got in the way of Turnbull's plans and enjoyed every single second of it. He almost kills Jonah himself the first time they face off, but on the rematch Jonah manages to not only kill Burke, but also brings him back to life just to incinerate his body completely.

36. Prince Zuko (The Last Airbender)

"I will restore my honor!"

I felt like Zuko in film did really well portraying the anguish the Zuko in the show had, but I could not help but giggle every time he tried to be threatening or intimidating. I couldn't buy it. Also is that what you call a scar? Because to me all that looks like is a small scratch. His rivalry with Zhao was cut back which is a bit of a shame because that really is one of the few times during Book One that you feel some type of sympathy for him and want to root him on.

35. Lucas Lee (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's going to take to kick your ass!"

The cool action star and Ramona's 2nd ex! He wasn't so cool when they dated so she left him for Todd and he went on to be the biggest skate boarding/movie star the world has ever seen! When he faces against Scott he has his stunt team take him on before he kicks his ass all throughout the movie set. What kills him in the end? Scott convincing him to skate down a rail, which he does awesomely until he blows up all of a sudden.

34. Hanzo (Predators)

"Because I talk too much."

Hanzo never spoke a word to the group until he discovers an old samurai sword in Noland's hideout and even then it's only a couple of words. Although he works for Yakuza, he still has a sense of respect and decides to go against Falconer Predator one on one in a sword fight. Even though he's thrown around by the larger beast, Hanzo deals a killing blow that brings the Predator down. Soon after, however, Hanzo dies from his own wounds.

33. Frank D'Amico (Kick-Ass)

"Playtime's over kid."

The most powerful mob boss in the city, Frank takes down everyone and anyone who gets in his way. With the snap of his fingers he can get whatever he wants, so you can only imagine how his ego was handling Kick-Ass ruining his business. Even though he doesn't take his son seriously, he allows Chris to become Red Mist to lure Kick-Ass into a trap, which gets ruined by Big Daddy. Frank gets his revenge by having his goons light Big Daddy on fire, but ends up having to deal with Hit-Girl. To his credit, Frank isn't hard to take down. In fact, he very nearly kills Hit-Girl before Kick-Ass comes and shoots a bazooka missile at him.

32. Edwin (Predators)

"I'm a murderer. I'm a freak."

Everyone thought that Edwin was this innocent doctor who was mistakenly thrown into the hunting preserve with the rest of these killers. He plays the act the entire movie, earning everyone's trust and basically becoming the little brother they all look out for and protect until the very end when it's just him and Isabelle. He shows his true colors by slicing her with a paralyzing blade and almost kills her before Royce shows up. Luckily Royce isn't fooled by the kid's act and he leaves him with a bunch of grenades to greet the last remaining Predator.

31. Todd Ingram (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"Chicken isn't vegan?"

This idiot seemed to be the strongest out of all the exes and Ramona's longest relationship. With his vegan lifestyle comes really cool psychic abilities that allows him to wipe the floor with Scott in front of everyone, including Scott's ex, Envy, who happens to be dating Todd now. The idiot apparently doesn't know that a lot of stuff isn't vegan, specifically chicken, so the Vegan Police show up to take his powers away, which allows Scott to take him down.

30. James "Rhodey" Rhodes/War Machine (Iron Man 2)

"Yeah, it's called being a badass."

Rhodey is back and even though he might have a small ounce of respect for Stark, he still doesn't like him. His dislike is what pushes him over the edge to take on Tony's War Machine before engaging in a fight that takes down Tony's entire mansion. I think he has a good moral compass but his dislike for Tony causes him to not recognize when Tony is right about something, which is how Whiplash is able to take over War Machine in the film's climax. In the end Rhodey has finally established himself as a hero and watching him fight along Iron Man as War Machine was very cool to see.

29. Uncle Iroh (The Last Airbender)

"We will find you a nice girl."

Uncle Iroh in the film is a perfect example of going in a completely different way with a character, and it still being good. Sure I would have loved to see him express a love for tea or play some Pai Sho but I didn't need it. Iroh was still laidback, cared deeply for Zuko, and had a respect for the spirits and other nations. They even touched on his son's death in Ba Sing Se. In the film there's this weird thing about firebenders not being able to create fire but only able to control it (extremely stupid, but whatever) and Iroh is one of the few people who can actually create it. He uses his techniques to aid Zuko in escaping from Zhao and continue to go after the Avatar another day.

28. Quentin Turnbull (Jonah Hex)

"The United States will know Hell."

Our main villain who kills Jonah Hex's family after Jonah betrays him and kills his son, Jeb. I personally don't think it's Jeb's death that makes Turnbull go evil, I think he was already like that when he served as the Confederate Army's Commander. It just took Jonah a while to figure that out and when he did it was too late to save his family. Turnbull fakes his death to throw off Jonah so he can create the ultimate weapon to destroy the United States. He's nearly successful but Jonah manages to show up at the last minute to kill him for good.

27. Classic Predator (Predators)

*original clicking sounds*

The group finds Classic Predator strung up on the other Predator's ship and later learn from Noland that he belongs to an inferior clan. Royce decides to free him in hopes that the Predator will take him back to Earth. The Classic Predator is good on his word, but when it comes to facing the stronger Berserker Predator, he falls short and gets decapitated.

26. William Roque (The Losers)

"Well, you better be, because I ain't getting killed by no girl."

Roque was my least favorite Loser for obvious reasons but I really liked him in the beginning. I thought he was going to be this crazy, unpredictable guy who would find any excuse to pull out his knives and that's not what was delivered. Instead Roque complained about everything the group did to get their life back even when the group's plans were actually pretty solid. Then he decides to betray the friend's he's known for YEARS for a chance to live in America again, which is something I would expect from Pooch so he could be with his family, not from a guy who had no one waiting for him back in the states. So yeah, I wasn't mad when Roque ended up getting blown to piece by Cougar.

[marymosley]

Chief Justice John Roberts Heading Down Collision Course With Himself

Below is my column in The Hill newspaper on critical cases facing Chief Justice John Roberts this term as his impact as the new swing vote on the Court becomes more clear. In the oral arguments for Whole Woman’s Health v. Hellerstedt, Chief Justice Roberts appeared to be following his prior position in favor of state laws imposing conditions on abortion services. However, in that case and the recently accepted Obamacare appeal, Roberts will be exercising his swing vote while carrying a fair amount of baggage from earlier decisions.

Here is the column:

One of my favorite stories about Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes is from one of his train trips to Washington. Holmes forgot his ticket but the train conductor reassured him, “Do not worry about your ticket. We all know who you are. When you get to your destination, you can find it and just mail it to us.” Holmes responded, “My dear man, the problem is not my ticket. The problem is, where am I going?”

Chief Justice John Roberts may have the same uncertainty this week as he finds himself on track to two decisions that will define him and the court. Once heralded as a reliable conservative, Roberts became the swing vote with the retirement of Justice Anthony Kennedy. Now conservatives are unsure if Roberts will deliver or deflect a coup de grâce with decisions on ObamaCare and abortion. In both cases, he will grapple with his previous views that would push him to vote for decisions with sweeping impacts. For a chief justice who gets sticker shock at such moments, Roberts may find himself evading his prior self in shaping the future court.

Affordable Care Act

The Supreme Court earlier this week accepted an appeal from various states that are controlled by Democrats who seek the reversal of lower courts striking down the individual mandate provision of the Affordable Care Act. In 2012, Roberts saved ObamaCare as the fifth vote in the case of National Federation of Independent Business v. Kathleen Sebelius. In my view, it was one of his weakest opinions as chief justice.

Roberts sided with the conservative justices that requiring individuals to buy insurance was a flagrant violation of federalism guarantees, a view I shared. But in what read like a last minute addition, he voted with the four liberal justices in declaring that none of that matters because he viewed the individual mandate as a tax. It was a surprising turn, since both sides had denied that this was a tax. But by declaring the individual mandate an exercise of the taxing authority of Congress, Roberts saved the law. He insisted the individual mandate was the thumping heart of ObamaCare, which could not survive without its tax revenue from the healthy young citizens who would pay more into the system than they took out. Roberts wrote that “the individual mandate was Congress’s solution” to the existential problems associated with a national health care system. Likewise, the liberal justices joined Roberts in saying that, without the individual mandate, the other parts of the ACA “alone will not work.”

His decision, refashioning the mandate as a tax, appeared artificial and opportunistic to many of us. It also sowed the seeds of its own destruction by not just resting the survival of ObamaCare on the existence of the tax but by insisting that the law could not survive without it. Congress called his bluff by zeroing out the tax, which was the very thing that Roberts had said was needed to sustain ObamaCare as a constitutional matter.

The case is now headed to Roberts again. The lower courts had quoted him and relied on his reasoning to declare the provision unconstitutional. The district court struck down the entire law based on his 2012 decision. The appellate court left open the possibility that the entire law could be struck down but remanded that question back to the district court.

Roberts is well known for resisting dramatic social or political changes in opinions. However, he will now be faced with a determined protagonist in himself. In order to save ObamaCare again, he will have to brush aside his own analysis from 2012, fueling objections that the 2012 rationale was a convenient and transparent ruse to avoid the need to strike down the law. The case of California v. Texas presents the question in the sharpest relief. The tax fallacy is now evident, but Roberts could still declare “long live ObamaCare” based on a federal tax that brings in no revenue.

Roe v. Wade

The Supreme Court this week will also return again to the long simmering debate over the ability of states to limit abortions or abortion services. As with critics of ObamaCare, pro-life advocates have long viewed Roberts as, at best, a fair weather friend and, at worst, a furtive foe on the issue of abortion. The case of June Medical Services v. Stephen Russo will again be forced into the open on a key constitutional question.

There is not a lot of room left to avoiding declaring whether a state like Louisiana can impose conditions on abortion services, such as requiring that physicians have admitting privileges at a local hospital. What is most striking about the case is that it involves very similar issues as in Whole Woman’s Health v. John Hellerstedt in 2016, but it will be argued to a different court. Roberts voted in the minority when there was no chance the Supreme Court would open up abortion to state limitations.

Kennedy, a critical swing vote for pro-choice advocates, was replaced by Justice Brett Kavanaugh, who was controversial because of his perceived hostility toward the foundation of Roe v. Wade. The vote was five to three because Justice Antonin Scalia had passed and Justice Neil Gorsuch had not yet been confirmed. With Scalia or Gorsuch, the vote might have been five to four. With Kavanaugh, however, the result would flip.

The Louisiana case presents that same type of restrictions as the Texas case and comes from the same circuit. In the Texas case, the fear was that limitations would dramatically reduce the number of abortion clinics. In the dissent that Roberts joined, Justice Samuel Alito rejected claims of a causal link between such limitations and the reduction of the number of clinics. Critics of the Louisiana law argue that same causal link, with a bigger potential to cut the number of clinics in the state to one.

Roberts will have to vote on a Supreme Court that can clearly deliver a victory for states’ rights and pro-life advocates. There are technical “off ramps” with both cases, but he will have to work hard to evade this clear vote. Clarity is something that Roberts likely does not relish in either area. On both ObamaCare and abortion, he would have to reject his own prior analysis to vote against the position of his conservative colleagues. So conservatives may not like the new destination of the chief justice if he decides to jump the track on both of his prior opinions.

Jonathan Turley is the Shapiro Professor of Law with George Washington University. He served as lead counsel for the House of Representatives in litigation over the Affordable Care Act. He is on Twitter @JonathanTurley.

Chief Justice John Roberts Heading Down Collision Course With Himself published first on https://immigrationlawyerto.tumblr.com/

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How The Media Overlooked Michael Jackson’s Alleged Sexual Abuse

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A few months after the King of Pop faced his first public sexual abuse allegations, Vanity Fair reporter Maureen Orth wrote in January 1994 that “even by Hollywood standards, Michael Jackson’s weirdness is legendary, but he has always been protected by the armor of his celebrity.”

“Almost no one, especially those C.E.O.’s and moguls who make millions off him, has ever really questioned his motives: why this reclusive man-child with no known history of romantic relationships prefers to live a fantasy life in the company of children,” Orth wrote of Jackson, who later privately settled with accuser Jordan Chandler.

At its core, HBO’s “Leaving Neverland” is a devastating and searing excavation of how sexual abuse can tear apart the lives of accusers and their families. But particularly in its second half, airing Monday night, the documentary hints at how Jackson’s otherworldly superstardom enabled his alleged abuse to evade major scrutiny from the media during much of his career.

As with many sexual misconduct cases, media outlets faced the challenge of corroborating the allegations against Jackson. According to Orth’s 1994 article, some saw them as too salacious to cover.

Orth went on to detail how people often took their stories about Jackson to the tabloids because they would get paid by “the profitable and ever growing celebrity-gossip mill.” Reputable outlets such as The New York Times and Los Angeles Times didn’t extensively cover Chandler’s allegations in 1993, and when they did, they instead focused on the response from Jackson’s team, who claimed the singer had been extorted.

“A lot of people simply did not want to believe that Michael Jackson could molest little boys, and the tepid Establishment-press coverage reflected the public’s repugnance and ambivalence,” Orth wrote.

Jackson, who died in 2009, was the product of a machine of celebrity mythmaking, in which reporters, fans, and the people in his orbit ― including “Leaving Neverland” accusers Wade Robson and James Safechuck and their families ― became sometimes unwitting participants.

I love children and learn so much from being around them. I realize that many of our world’s problems today ― from the inner-city crime, to large-scale wars and terrorism, and our overcrowded prisons ― are a result of the fact that children have had their childhood stolen from them. Michael Jackson, 1993

A look at media coverage of Jackson from the 1980s and early 1990s shows how that machine may have made it easier for the world to look the other way. 

With the help of a savvy team of handlers who went after his critics, Jackson controlled his image.

Jackson, who denied the multiple abuse charges made during his lifetime and was acquitted after a 2005 trial, had plenty of defenders who thought the accusations were intended to take him down. A GQ cover story in 1994 opined over whether he had been “framed,” calling the coverage of the 1993 allegations “one of the nation’s worst episodes of media excess.”

Diane Dimond, a reporter for the TV tabloid show “Hard Copy,” broke the story on the initial allegations in 1993, but discovered sources close to Jackson had either been instructed not to talk or “wanted money.”

“They say, ‘I’d like to tell you something about Michael. He’s a dear sweet boy, and for $5,000 I’ll come on and tell you this.’ It absolutely has impeded me from presenting a full Jackson side of the story,” she said in 1994.

According to Vanity Fair, she received threats from Jackson’s representatives (which they denied). Dimond later wrote that fans attacked her outside her office, someone broke into her car on one occasion, and ”my office phone was tapped by Jackson’s private detective (confirmed to me by FBI sources),” she said in 2005.

Peter Still via Getty Images Michael Jackson performing with children during his 1988 “Bad” tour.

Jackson contributed to his “squeaky-clean image” and universal appeal by giving few interviews and steering news reports toward his wide range of charity work involving children.

Jackson exerted power over his image and largely avoided interviews, as noted in a 1987 Rolling Stone profile that detailed “his control mania.” Director Steven Spielberg ― who cast Jackson as the narrator for the soundtrack to “E.T.” ― told the magazine in 1983 that the singer was “one of the last living innocents who is in complete control of his life.”

When Jackson did agree to the rare interview, it was often connected to his philanthropy and took on a sympathetic tone, like a 1992 Ebony magazine profile, which argued that Jackson had faced “a negative media campaign.”

ASSOCIATED PRESS Michael Jackson and his then-wife Lisa Marie Presley, giving children a tour of his Neverland ranch in 1995.

Many of the charitable initiatives that morphed his public image involved assisting sick children. Some were invited to spend time at his Neverland Ranch, where he hosted sleepovers — during which some of the alleged sexual abuse occurred.

“It’s part of my gift to make everybody happy, and to bring joy to everyone, especially children like this,” Jackson told Newsday in 1989, when meeting then 4-year-old leukemia patient Darian Pagan at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York. “My dream is to do a tour and see all the world’s children, all the hungry kids. Imagine that.”

Jackson often surrounded himself with children during his public appearances. During a 1985 PBS Newshour segment on Jackson’s famous Pepsi commercials, marketing analyst Faith Popcorn remarked on why children were among the singer’s biggest fans. 

“All the young people emulate Michael Jackson in this country,” she said, according to a transcript of the segment. “And it must be every young boy’s fantasy to turn around and see Michael Jackson. I mean, how wonderful.” 

Two years later, one of Jackson’s commercials starred then-9-year-old Safechuck turning around in amazement when seeing Jackson in his dressing room.

Profiles of Jackson often cast a tone of fascination and curiosity, writing off questionable behavior as mostly innocuous “personal oddities” or “eccentricities.”

News coverage in the 1980s and early 1990s often described Jackson as “child-like,” “wide-eyed,” “innocent,” an “enigma,” a “recluse” or a “Pied Piper.”

Certain stories made passing references to the sleepovers at Neverland and how many of his friends were children, details that look eerie now. A 1992 Rolling Stone feature described Jackson’s bizarre retreats for kids:

Jackson frequently has children over to play. According to his personal spokesperson, Bob Jones (who first worked with Jackson at Motown when the singer was a member of the Jackson 5), these regularly include “busloads” of underprivileged and terminally ill kids (such as the late Ryan White), as well as young personal friends of the superstar.

“When the children are here, sometimes they get so excited they just can’t go to sleep,” says Lee Tucker, who helped design Jackson’s movie theater and serves as his projectionist. “I’ll get a call at 2:00 a.m. sometimes: ‘Lee, can you show such-and-such movie?’ Neverland isn’t about kids going to sleep at a certain time. The kids really run the place when they’re here.”

In some news reports from that time, Robson was described as one of Jackson’s “young friends,” and Safechuck as his “new little friend.”

New York Daily News Archive via Getty Images James Safechuck (right), then 10, with Michael Jackson and Liza Minnelli in 1988. The original photo caption refers to Safechuck as Jackson’s “new friend.”

News coverage also emphasized how he liked being around children because he did not have his own childhood.

Jackson frequently told reporters that he felt most comfortable around children because he related to them more than he did with adults.

“They don’t wear masks,” he told Rolling Stone in 1983.

Similarly, the 1992 Rolling Stone profile noted:

Jackson is extremely fond of children. Those who know him believe that one reason he can relax with kids is that he truly believes they like him for himself, not because he’s a big star. As one associate observed, “If you’re under three feet tall, you can have complete access to Michael Jackson.”

He and his defenders often attributed some of his behavior to the fact that he had been famous his entire life and lived in a lonely bubble.

“With Michael, as with any superstar, reality and fantasy are totally confused,” John Landis, who directed Jackson’s “Thriller” music video, said in 1992. “It’s very difficult to remain sane.”

Also cited was his difficult childhood, including alleged physical abuse from his notoriously controlling father, which Jackson discussed at length with Oprah Winfrey in a 1993 live TV interview. But that defense is full of complications. As Slate’s Daniel Engber wrote this week, “the theory of intergenerational transmission of abuse” is a complex claim because “the science is filled with too many nuances and caveats to allow such a clear-cut explanation.”

These stories often referred to Jackson having dual images: one as an otherworldly superstar and unparalleled performer, the other as a tabloid fascination.

“I think he’s really Peter Pan,” his choreographer Michael Peters told the New York Times in 1984. “He is this constant dichotomy of man and child. He can run corporations and tell record companies what he wants, and then he can sit in a trailer and play Hearts for hours with a friend who is 12 years old.”

“As an entertainer he has no peer,” Rolling Stone wrote in 1987, while also noting that Jackson simultaneously was “the flighty-genius star-child, a celebrity virtually all his life, who dwells in a fairy-tale kingdom of fellow celebrities, animals, mannequins and cartoons … ”  

Tabloid stories about “his plots to buy the Elephant Man’s remains, to oxygenate his body by sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber or to marry Elizabeth Taylor” further cemented that image.

While Jackson denounced these stories as “completely made up,” notably in the Oprah interview that was designed to rehabilitate his image, some reports suggest that the rumors (which led to the “Wacko Jacko” moniker in the tabloids) may have been planted by himself or his representatives.

In February of 1993, just weeks after the Oprah interview and months before Chandler made his allegations, Jackson was awarded the Grammy Legend Award. His acceptance speech now reads as a chilling summary of all of his different defenses promulgated over the years.

“I wasn’t aware that the world thought I was so weird and bizarre. But when you grow up as I did, in front of 100 million people since the age of 5, you are automatically different,” he said. “My childhood was completely taken away from me. There was no Christmas, there was no birthdays. It was not a normal childhood, no normal pleasures of childhood. Those were exchanged for hard work, struggle and pain.”

Jackson went on to thank “all the children of the world, including the sick and deprived.”

“I love children and learn so much from being around them,” he said. “I realize that many of our world’s problems today ― from the inner-city crime, to large-scale wars and terrorism, and our overcrowded prisons ― are a result of the fact that children have had their childhood stolen from them.”

Need help? Visit RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.

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